The poem “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley was catapulted into the public consciousness by the 2009 film of that name about Nelson Mandela and post-apartheid South Africa. The poem helped to carry him through his imprisonment and is perhaps part of the reason that he emerged without resentment and vengefulness. Henley himself was no stranger to misfortune, having had part of a leg amputated at a fairly early age. He suffered ill health and did not live very long, dying at the age of 53. This is the poem:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul
Invictus is the Latin word for unconquered or undefeated, and is a marvellous example of how we should live our lives – as the master of our fate and captain of our soul. With God to help us
Invictus is kept in the public consciousness by the Invictus Games, the name of which is written with the letters I AM highlighted in a different colour. Was this in the knowledge that I AM is one of the names of God? Possibly not.
The poem is not overtly Christian – “I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul”, but the sentiment is entirely consistent with Christianity, except that he seems to have a rather gloomy expectation of the hereafter. I also believe it is a good fit with life with cancer: whatever it throws at us, we are personally responsible for our reaction and how we learn from it.
I certainly didn’t have this poem in mind when I formulated my approach to my cancer, so am somewhat blown away by how accurately it expresses my feelings about it. Initially I was rather inclined to leave it up to the medical profession, but then being told that I will probably never be free of cancer, inspired me to start taking responsibility.
I wasn’t given much dietary advice and the subjects of mental and spiritual wellbeing, and their importance in healing, never arose in conversations with oncologists. That is not a criticism of oncology today, because I realise that they are constrained by their training and even by their ethical code which prevents them talking about things that are not “proven” to be of benefit. Drug trials provide evidence of efficacy and side effects, whereas there is no “proof” that a particular diet will have a beneficial effect or that the mental and spiritual measures that I have already touched upon will promote healing. All I can say with certainty is that they have done wonders for my morale and that the recent scan results are very encouraging. And if they cease to be encouraging, that would indicate that there are further learning opportunities and different ideas to investigate and try out. “I am the master of my fate”.